Forgiveness is Freedom

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” - Plato

Violet Flame Invocation

Beloved Divine Light, I open to receive the complete healing of the cause, effect, record and memory of any part of myself  that I have not, until this moment, loved into wholeness. I blaze the violet fire through and around my etheric, mental, emotional and physical bodies and through every cell, atom and organ, clearing all that may be out of alignment with Divine outpicturing.

Goddess of Compassion Priestess Practices

Here are some deepening questions to journal on and develop your relationship with this Archetype to increase your self compassion.

Forgiveness

  • Can forgiveness and compassion even be talked about separately?  

  • What is your resistance to forgiving yourself?

  • What do you find the hardest to forgive yourself for?

  • In what ways do you still not demonstrate the same compassion for self that you have for others?

Take a moment to reflect upon the connection between recognizing and seeding (or manifesting)? How are these states connected?

Judgement

  • What is the nature of judgement?

  • What do you still judge within yourself and others?

Reflect on this wisdom… What we judge is what we hide about ourselves, but what others most see and what we attract. Accept what you most judge about yourself and free yourself from projection.

 

 

 

 

 

Great Mother Transmission

The Great Mother

 

I am the Great Mother

Ancient Mother

 

The deep dark fertile void

From which all is born

 

I am unconditional love

Holding you gently ever present,

Wrapped around you even now….

And evermore

 

I am the full embrace

I am the caldron, the womb, the pregnant belly

Of all possibility

All reflections, all beauty, all wisdom

Born from me…

 

I am the deep burgundy red

Bloodline of all women

Who lean back into each other eternally

Daughter to mother, womb from womb

 

Rest back into me…

I am the DNA spiral staircase

Inward and downward

Come plant your dream

Seed into my fertile ground

of manifest reality

 

I am the fierce protective love of the mother bear, tiger, sow…

I am turtle Mother Earth Gaia

I am the Fibonacci spiral

Embedded in the Divine Blueprint of nature

 

I am the original Sound

A waveform vibration emanation forming all creation

 

I am The vast Cosmic Sea

From which all has come

And to which all returns

To be born again

From me

Grieving Woman and the Gift of Disillusionment - Beauty in the Breakdown

Letting go… the gift of Dhumavati

I’m Sorry… I love you….I remember…There’s no where else to go… It’s a never-ending story…

These phrases echoed through my dream journey repeating again and again. Every time I would come to the last line…”It’s a never- ending story”… I would feel the intensity of forever and would long to release a sorrowful moan or a scream of madness to accompany the excruciating grip of my mind.

Suddenly I found myself wide awake at 3 am, sweating and burning in my bed in a dark night of the soul wishing I could make it stop, that there was somewhere else more gentle, light filled and benevolent my awareness could go.

Burning through shadow… Feeling it all. My darkness… my heart ache, my soul ache, my messy fragmented life… my desire to escape and yet know in the core of my soul…”There’s nowhere else to go”.

So here I am. How do I fully surrender, embrace and breathe through each and every wave of intensity in this one precious life? How do I let go?

Oh Dark Mother, benevolent mother, slayer of illusion. I feel you in the center of my chest, stoking this raging fire of transmutation. I no longer deny the fear that arises every time I rest with your presence in my life. You are the Destroyer. 

I feel the weight of the dawning, sobering awareness of Radical Responsibility. No one outside of me will “save” me from this burning. It is the sensation of my own karmic wheel turning. It is the blessed unrest of my own creation dream and all the drama of the movie I have written, directed, produced and starred in. I feel the way you are working with me to assist me to see clearly. Sweet Kali. I bow.

Kali bows back and moves slightly to the side to reveal another Goddess standing right behind her. She is old and skinny and hunched over in dirty rags like a hag, a toothless witch from a fairy tail. She is even scarier than Kali to me. She is the Goddess of disillusionment, disappointment and failure, Dhumavati.

Oh my dear Goddess! How many faces you have! I cling to my preferences and rage against this frequency. Not you! The ugly one, the Grieving woman, The dark mantle of the Queen of Death… You terrify me! And I resist you. And you remain at the gates of my heart whispering over and over…”Let go.”

Let go of your control, your clinging need, your “look good”, your spiritual beliefs, your identity, your righteousness, your stories, your attachments to your pictures, your desires, your worldly comforts… Let go…

I feel my resistance and the suffering it causes as I cling, with fingernails digging in, to the illusion of the sweet dream. I want to be taken over by the pleasurable, sweet, beautiful pink flowering Grace of Lakshmi or the Creative outpouring of wisdom and the magical musical gifts of Saraswati!

This old crone with her crow… repulses me. When I signed up on some etheric plane to open myself as an embodiment of the Goddess, I missed this one on the cosmic menu.

“It is in the attachment to your pretty, perfect life, in your resistance to change, the hiding of your authenticity, the hedging your bets, the pretending, blaming and denying, the incessant planning and preparing, subtly and not so subtly lying and manipulating to hold on to the illusion of control- that you create suffering”, she says.

“I am you and you are me and we are here together.” Ugghhh! Can I love even this face? Dhumavati is asking me to empty out, to free my heart from worry, fear, resentment and grievance…

Disillusionment is such a beautiful word if we think about it as the dismantling of illusion- the undoing of attachment. Disappointment is interesting too. The prefix “dis” creates a reversing force, so with disappointment we are reversing or canceling our appointment with some expected outcome. It basically means letting go.

So I am going to take a dive off the edge of the cliff with Dhumavati and release, let go and "dis" engage from the madness by embracing and facing the darkness I’ve been resisting. My prayer is that in writing it, sharing it, letting it unravel from the grip of shame and fear and looking at it with focused loving attention – it may be given a chance to return to pure energy and move. Let go! Let go! Let go!

I open up my heart as a cauldron of transmutative fire to embrace each and every repetitive fear picture and story that has been haunting me as a personal and collective dark mythology.

They line up like a chorus line of crippled freaks wearing outgrown masks...these characters I've created within... these pretender voices and shadow players.

As I give my attention to all these twisted thoughts and their accompanying feelings and allow the full arising of the pictures that have been subconsciously haunting me… I notice a similarity in how they all emanate a frequency of "victim" and I also notice a strange, slightly addictive familiarity to a well worn neuro-pathway that causes me to feel exhausted, my throat to contract and my head to ache as I give my full presence to feel them. I see how I so easily attach meaning to these reflections and projections of my mind and constrict around them. I have given them energy and power and fed them with my unconscious attention and belief in them and then unwittingly rode the waves of drama from the subsequent heated desire to resist, avoid, hide, compensate or escape by blaming someone else for them.

They are not me, not true, not real. They are like old programs that no longer function in an upgraded operating system and must be transmuted to be deleted. To do so they must be faced with fierce love and no longer seen through the carnival house mirror of denial.

Now as I hold myself and breathe with each dissonant visitor I had identified with, they drop their masks and dissolve...  I feel them unraveling from my cells, my molecules, my DNA., releasing and detoxing out- back into the Dark Mother. She lovingly takes them, eats them, composts them one by one, helping me to use them for more fuel for growth.

I trust... I release...

Suddenly I am being shown something- lovingly now- a soft, deep resonant voice or presence has opened up behind my right shoulder and whispers in my ear as the screen saver image on this computer changes to the big shaggy head of a golden Lion below this word document…

“You are only the I AM. All of the other words and pictures that follow after those are illusion.”

Thank you for this precious moment of returning. I remember. I breathe a deeper breath with a blaze of light into the back of my heart.

Courage...

Oh, I love you Great Lion! Vehicle of Durga… Durga, the great Mother Goddess who eliminates suffering, protects her devotees from the evils of the world and at the same time removes their miseries… Her lion represents power, will and determination. Mother Durga riding the lion symbolizes one who posses all the qualities required to get over the demon of ego.

And the screen changes again now to a starry sky below…

I rarely awake from sleep in a state of anxiety and fitful heat waves within. Tonight as I tossed and turned and watched the movies in my mind move from one unpleasant scene to the next I realized that it is in the attachment to the quality of the sensations of thoughts that I truly suffer. If I allow all thoughts and sensations to arise and fall as just data and do not attach or contract around them- they always change.

The moon peeks out from under this Word Document now. She is winking at me and reminding me about her joy as the wave mover. Energy in motion. Water. Heat. Movement within. Tides of sensation.

My beautiful moon, you perfect reflector and projector. I see the rays of the sun shining on you, illuminating you in your perfectly imperfect craggy, barren gorgeousness. You are neither hot nor cold, neither full nor slim, but changing woman, changing only from our perception and the way the light hits you. And your one true job is to pull and release, to move the oceans and the tectonic plates, to magnetize and shape the planet by the simple essence of your presence.

So energy in motion… pure e-motion, our felt experience helps move us and shape us and gives us the raw fuel to travel with. Where we go with it, how we use it, how we chose to respond or react- is dependent on our attachment to the ever-changing pictures and stories that arise with it. So, we decide what is real, by making it matter... again and again and again. This is how the archetypal wisdom of the Creator/Destroyer/Preserver reminds us about radical responsibility.

What are you focusing on? What are you choosing to create?

I am aware of how much I wanted to react, act out and to create from a desire to stop the discomfort I was feeling in my mind. I wanted to change and move the out picturing of my life to try to avoid feeling the pain and inner heat as I tossed and turned inside tonight.

And… like a snake eating its tail in a Mobius loop of cause and effect, I see that the new pictures I dream in from this agitated state would only create more drama and pretense in my life.

Dhumavati offers us rest from the incessant churning. Peace in the stillness… Beauty in the breakdown, release in the void.

I am brought back to this simple prayer:  May I consciously seed new dreams, vision into and connect my creative energy with sensations and thoughts that arise in the vibration of gratitude and joy.

This fear, this despair, discomfort, and contraction is pointing me towards something that is wishing to release and to make way for the pure ground of my being, the vast and peaceful state of my I AM presence to be revealed again.

As I prayed and prayed to the Goddess earlier to deliver me from my suffering and my seeking to understand. Little did I know that I was invoking an aspect of the Divine Mother who happens to be like the patron saint of “the dark night of the soul”.

Dhumavati helps us drop our lofty spiritual goals, let go of our agendas, lay down our ambitious visions, soul searching and esoteric missions. She represents the void and the inner blackness that can be seen as both terrifying or inherently peaceful and restful. Within the emptiness lies the secret to the inner gift of true detachment and the power to soar beyond all circumstances into ultimate freedom.

Now a beautiful, large pink flower in full bloom arrives on my screen saver as my cat walks by in the dark and hits the solfeggio pipes nearby. Each symbol, each metaphor becomes a beautiful reminder! To flower and unfold and ring true and resonate as purely as I can is my soul’s longing.

Feeing the breath moving freely now... cooling the inner fire as I let all the sensations rise and fall and I feel somehow lighter. May I continue to ride the waves with as much ease and Grace as I can.

Thank you Dhumavati. Thank you for helping me to let go tonight. I see you. I embrace you. I surrender.

Give Yourself the Gift of Presence: Sit in the Stillness and Breathe

Sit and Breathe

 

Meditation is the gift we can give ourselves this season to reset our patterns of thinking, calm our emotions, down regulate our nervous system and tap back into Source. Not only does it help with over all stress management and health, benefitting our cardiovascular and immune system, it increases our concentration, acceptance, happiness and creativity. Meditation amplifies our present moment awareness and even expands our perception of time. So stop making excuses about not having enough time to give your self this powerful “present” of presence and inner peace!

 

Breathing deeply and taking some time each day to consciously connect your breath, by making sure you are not holding your breath, is in itself an important practice.

It will improve oxygen delivery, helping our cells stay happy and healthy by stimulating cellular regeneration and give us better circulation while detoxifying our system. It also helps uplift our mood, improve our posture and promotes better sleep. So connect your breathing exercise with your meditation and reap the benefits!

 

Here is a simple way to start your practice:

 

Find a comfortable quiet space where you can rest in an upright and seated position and not be interrupted.  As you settle into the place you are sitting, make sure your phone is off and you are warm and comfortable enough to sit without distraction. Approach this practice with an attitude of kindness and curiosity.

 

Invite yourself to lean a few millimeters back into your awareness of your own “backbody”. This will bring you into a restful upright position that grounds and anchors you more into your physical body. As you feel your connection to the seat or cushion where you are sitting and the downward gravitational pull this creates in your awareness, also bring your attention to your heart center. Here with your intention and attention and a very subtle movement, you can slightly lift and rotate the orientation of your heart a bit heavenward, creating some buoyancy and a positive feeling of openness as you start to deepen your breath.

 

Now take several deep belly breaths and allow yourself to release tension by making a slight sound on the exhalation like a sigh. Relax your whole body as you continue to release on the exhalation. Give yourself the time to scan your whole body, simply noticing where you may be tense or holding energy, bringing that kind and curious touch of your awareness, inviting more spaciousness and opening, especially relaxing your jaw, neck and shoulders. Once you feel relaxed and focused, begin a gentle connected breathing practice with a mantra or simply just follow the breath with your awareness as it moves in and out of your nose.

 

A simple mantra that helps me anchor my awareness in the present moment and interrupts the constant stream of thoughts, bringing me into a deeper alpha state is: “I am here now.” I combine this mantra with the breath, breathing in on the “I”, out on the “am”, in again on the “here” and out on the “now”. Repeating this silent mantra for 15-20 minutes in connection to the breath- being aware of not holding the breath- is a powerful grounding, centering and vitalizing practice.

Enjoy!

Eden Amadora

 

 

 

 

 

Embodying the Heiros Gamos- Reunion of the Beloved Within

Ritual of Embodiment

Harmonizing and balancing the Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine principles within the heart temple.

We begin by offering ourselves in devotion to the Beloved within by yoking spirit in form through a simple yoga of union with our intention, movement and creative visualization.

Standing in a calm quiet area with enough room to comfortably raise and lower your arms, keeping your spine straight and slightly softening your knees, begin to feel your connection to the floor or Earth through the soles of your feet. Release your tail. Release your jaw.


Breathe deeply into your lower belly and release all remaining tension on the first few deep exhales with gentle audible sighs, letting the sound vibration relax your body, calm your emotions and begin to still and focus your mind.
 

As you ground and prepare the body temple through this simple breathing practice begin to set your intention and focus your prayer on embodying, meeting and communing with the Beloved within.

Now begin to reach down energetically towards the floor with your left hand and start a spiraling motion imagining drawing up a beautiful emerald green color frequency from the Earth below. Visualize the enlivening color flooding into the left side of your body, permeating all the cells and molecules.

Allow yourself to breathe in and drink in deeply from this feeling of communion with the Feminine, the Mother principal. Feel her magnetic unconditional love blessing your whole being, especially focusing on your left side of your body. Slowly imagine a glowing emerald green sphere in your left hand. Bring this radiant sphere to the center of your chest and visualize it melting into your heart.

Now with the right hand reach up diagonally to the above visualizing radiant golden rays showering in from the sun. Feel the light, the heat and the powerful presence of Solar logos, the language of light transmitting the clear rays of the Father principal to be directly received by your upturned palm. Feel the light entering you, blessing your being, touching every cell and molecule, especially filling up the right side of your body.

Visualize a brilliant golden sphere in your upturned, raised right palm. Slowing begin to draw this sphere down towards your solar plexus. Imagine this radiant ball of light melting into your diaphragm and slightly overlapping and merging with the emerald green sphere that you placed into your heart.

With your palms open, facing each other and activated, move them around the spheres as if you could feel and build the chi, or vital life-force energy in this area. Bring your attention to the intersection between the two, where the love of the mother and the pure light and power of the father merge. Now begin to blend these two spheres and color frequencies more fully together, using a gentle movement of your palms while visualizing a radiant green/gold sphere forming and growing even more luminous engulfing both your chest and solar plexus.

Bring the backs of your hands to lie flat against your chest, forming an almond shape opening by connecting your two forefingers and thumbs, with your pointer finger tips touching the heart center and your thumbs resting at your solar plexus.

Visualize this mudra , the shape you are creating) as a gateway. Intentionally tapping into a feeling of great joy and gratitude, breathe into this opening and rest as balanced female and male essence in your heart temple. Here you invoke the Divine Lover.

Call your inner Beloved to meet you in this space. Visualize them approaching you. Become aware of their form, how they move, their posture and appearance. Allow yourself to be curious and open, inviting them closer. Delight in this meeting and imprint their presence deeply into your heart.

Close the ritual of meeting by pressing your palms together in the mudra of namaste while feeling a great wave of joy and gratitude for the sweetness of this precious meeting.

Finish the ritual by journaling your vows (recommended at least 5 both ways) from your inner Sacred Masculine aspect to your inner Divine Feminine and from your inner Divine Feminine to your inner Sacred Masculine.

Blessings,

Eden Amadora

Your life is a Blessing

 

The gift of loving your shadow as you love your light....

Your life is a blessing.

Deep down inside we all want the same thing. We all desire the experience of being truly seen, the feeling of being received and met- unconditionally. We all desire the experience of unconditional love and compassion. We long for connection. 

And paradoxically, we all carry the ancestral myth in our psyche of the illusion of separation. This is our “sacred wound” and the true origin of the word “sin”-  which in latin means “without”- outside of or disconnected and in ancient Greek is a term which means to "miss the mark" in archery. 

And so the veil falls and covers over us at birth in this world of duality and the reenactment of the myth of the fall from Grace, the castigation from Heaven begins with our exit from our mother’s womb. This experience of disconnection is the origin of Shame- or unworthiness. This is the root belief that we are separate from each other and from the Divine, from Source itself. We are born into a kind of forgetting and sleep...maya....illusion.

This first abandonment and sense of being without- or outside of the safety, warmth and embrace of pure love, this first betrayal, the first wounding, the first contraction, the cold, harsh pain of physical existence and the experience of needing to survive in the manifest world as a seemingly singular, separate entity is like a shared trauma of all souls who take on human birth. How we heal or rather return to wholeness and remembrance of our true nature is our spiritual journey.

The memory of this first hurt, this soul abandonment, lives deeply within us all as fuel for our primary survival instinct and drive for experiencing love. We are then further shaped and imprinted by early childhood unconscious parental wounding to develop our individual ego vehicles and personalities. We all create a projection field from these experiences of what we believe love looks and feels like and then form our unique and complex strategies to desperately seek to “get it” from outside ourselves in the world and from others who are close to us- to recapture that feeling of goodness, wholeness and soulful connection that we came from- believing that, otherwise, we are outside, not belonging, “without” love... separate from it. 

We then grow up unconsciously and fiercely protecting the “little one” who lives on deep inside our psyches feeling somehow deeply ashamed, not enough or too much, unloveable and disconnected- by masking and strategizing to avoid feeling the reenactment of our early pain of separation and loss at all costs. All acts of ignorance, violence, reactivity and harm come from this core wounding. Hurt people hurt people- and the animals and the planet.

Humanity has been stuck in a struggle loop unconsciously creating suffering throughout countless births and deaths under this spell, this illusion of separation, moving from fear to materialism, to lust, to greed to power struggle. Wars, violence, mass animal abuse and extinction, governmental and social improprieties, institutional and worldwide dilemmas, horrible pollution, all reflections of disharmony, suffering, disease and needless destruction are but symptoms of the illusion of separation and the still sleeping collective heart of humanity.

So how do we “wake up” from this darkness and violence and insanity? 

We become causal. 

You can not change the out picturing of reality by continuing to point at the seeming “causes” of suffering outside of the self. You can not “wake up” another. It is an inside job- and not for the faint of heart. You must, as Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Otherwise, you are adding to the suffering and drama.

We can not spiritually awaken or mature until we love our shadow as we love our light, until we accept our own darkness and embrace it into wholeness, until we feel the connection to the greatest crime, greatest violence, greatest disgust and breathe into it as our own, dissolving the last remnants of arrogance, judgment and separation in our heart. This is the beginning of true compassion. Your heart is a portal, a gateway and an alchemical cauldron. Your willingness to deeply feel the most painful and terrible realities fully, not turning away or projecting in blame or shame, but owning them as the darkness and separation of your own sacred wound is the key to planetary transformation. 

I recently learned that the word for injury or wound in French is : Blessure. 

Hmmmmmm..... Blessure- Blessing...? Could our sacred wound be our greatest blessing?

Imagine for a moment that the whole world is a mirror like hologram and the only way to impact the whole is from the inside out, that there is only one of us here and you are that. You are that powerful and that responsible. As above, so below, as within, so without. 

It is easier to stand at a distance and point outside of the self in judgment, to name and amplify the “problems” in the “hall of mirrors” of our relational reflections radiating out to the cultural systems and collective consciousness as a whole by focusing on them. To go to the causal point within- the core of our own fear, anger and sorrow takes great courage. To stay with the discomfort and terror of annihilation by the intensity of the emotional energy that has been passed on generationally, to choose to be that hero that goes on the transmutational journey to find the alchemical gold within is rare. 

The greatest work you could take on in this lifetime is to integrate and transmute your own sacred wound, to stay with and feel your own pain until you go all the way in and through the “shadow realms” to return to the light of your own self-awareness and then cease to create suffering outside yourself in reactivity, to come to peace within, to clean up the “pollution” within and to truly be with yourself in compassion. To love yourself, forgive yourself and accept yourself fully, unconditionally, just as you are, is an act of great service to the whole of humanity. It is to return to wholeness and presence and to become a light unto the world. To be a blessing.

Some consider this Earth experience a learning ground- of the soul- a place we come to be tested- perhaps to exercise our “free will” and to choose love- choose to move towards God and towards the Divinity within ourselves so that we may begin to truly see one another as Beloveds. These reflections outside of ourselves that trigger our upset, especially those that feel “unforgivable” are the perfect opportunities or tests for us to go even deeper into the heart of our own darkness. They are the grist for the mill that help us evolve into more loving, kind, forgiving, compassionate beings. 

How do we return to Eden and rewrite the story of the “punishment” and castigation? Awaken and know yourself as Beloved. Return to love. Forgive.

Choose love. See love. Be love.

Imagine for a moment the we are on a “soul’s journey” through eternity and we have come to a great turning in the grueling karmic wheel of repetitive cause and effect and the incessant suffering we once believed we needed to learn and to grow. We are at a blessed moment of opportunity and challenge, where the veils are thin and we can see beyond... We are being asked at this time to take a quantum leap within and through our unconscious patterns- through the Grace that awakens within to return to our Divine connection... So that we may become the ones , the light bearers, that can offer that unconditional love and compassionate embrace this world so desperately needs.

The time is now. This is the great turning. This is the dawning. The age of the Heart has begun. Take the path of the heart on fire. Become a second sun. Burn brightly love. 

 

The medicine is within

So we keep on praying, til it becomes a sweet song of giving thanks... Keep seeing clearer and nearer to the heart... Lion hearted... Dreaming awake. 

So much beauty everywhere...

Blessings brother sister 

soul star

Shining brighter for all to see 

who they truly are

In your mirror

Blessed be

This true love reflection 

Sets us free

 

The medicine is with in

 

We lift the veil

And see clearly

There is no sin

 

Sin: with out

 

Now we know 

Holy whole-y

Divinity

We are that

With in.